Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I'm a psychic, that's my job.

Claire: Where do you live?
Jack: On the island.
Claire: You have a tent?
Jack: Swan Station.
Claire: Own or rent?
Jack: Rent.
Claire: What do you do for a living?
Jack: Spinal Surgeon.
Claire: Where's your office?
Jack: LA.
Claire: How come?
Jack: Because I need one.
Claire: Where's your wife?
Jack: In LA.
Claire: How come?
Jack: It's a long story.
Claire: You have kids?
Jack: No I don't.
Claire: How come?
Jack: It's an even longer story.
Claire: Are you my brother?
Jack: What's your record for consecutive questions asked?
Claire: 42.
Jack: I'm your brother alright.
Claire: You're a much better spinal surgeon than my Dad.
Jack: How nice of you to notice.
Claire: I'm a pregnant Australian chick - that's my job.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Isn't life swell?

Jack: DHARMA PB & J with the crusts cut off... Well, John, this is a very nutritious lunch; all the DHARMA food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?

John: Uh, no, Mr. Cooper...

Jack: Ah. Here's my impression of life at Big John's house,
"Yeah, Dad?"
"How was your day, pal?"
"Great, Dad! How's yours?"
"Super! Say, how would like to give me your kidney this weekend?"
"Great, Dad! But I've got confusion and moping to do."
"That's okay, son! You can do it on the operating table!"
"Dear, isn't our son swell?"
"Yes, dear. Isn't life swell?"